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This article is all about how to improve your self-esteem.
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Growing up as a black female in the United States, I have been exposed to many different types of people.
During school, I always compared myself to others, getting thrown between not being good enough and coming to terms with my individuality.
Needless to say, self-esteem has been a morphing issue in my life. I just wanted some consistency.
Negative or positive, I would have appreciated a consistent amount of self-esteem from one day to the next.
I am all about mindset and I know that I can change that, so I figured that would be a good place to begin.
Mindset? Yes, Mindset
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
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If you have taken the time to explore any part of this blog, my support of this concept would not surprise you.
Knowing that the only thing you really have control of is yourself (with your mind included), this would appear to be a more obvious solution.
Have you ever considered that your self-esteem may only be in your mind?
Fake it til’ you make it does have some substance behind it.
If you can begin to engage your mind in a different way, changing how your body interacts with the world, why wouldn’t you receive different results?
If people treat you as if you are a more confident person because you made them believe it, would that have no impact on what you believe about yourself?
Are we getting somewhere?
Hold that thought, will revisit later.
This is something to consider if you want to improve your self-esteem.
How to Improve Your Self-Esteem
Step 1: Address Your Negative Thoughts…Immediately
It is so easy to think of the outside factors that degraded our self-belief and destroyed our hope for humanity.
Maybe you were bullied or publicly ridiculed, or excluded from the group you wished to be a part of.
Rejection is one thing but exclusion with no explanation is a whole ‘nother trauma.
Maslow was really onto something with that hierarchy wasn’t he???
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If you wish to get anywhere in life, you are going to have to come to terms with your thoughts.
Especially, the ones that are almost instantaneous, those are the annoying ones.
You must be as persistent as your negative thoughts are about yourself. As soon as you catch yourself in doubt, you need to think the opposite.
Why???
At the least, it forces you to spend time and energy thinking about positive outcomes.
Your negative thoughts hold no basis, they are not prophetic, and they sure aren’t helpful.
It takes internal work to improve your self-esteem and becoming a more optimistic person will remove the limits of what you are able to achieve.
If you liked this post, you’ll love these:
- Starting from Zero | Best Ways to Set Yourself Up for Success
- How to Stop Overthinking and Take Back Control of Your Life
- How to show yourself love on Valentine’s Day
Step 2: Establish a Sense of Urgency
All of the time that you spend doubting yourself is time that you could have dedicated to identifying your strengths and improving your weaknesses.
I think that we could all agree that focusing on your strengths will have more impact on your ability to improve your self-esteem.
I can tell you right now that you have places to go, you do not need to waste any more time wondering when you will be able to work on yourself.
Your self-esteem was likely not demolished overnight. It was more likely the negative comments coupled with your own feelings of self-doubt which were confirmed by your missed opportunities.
If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started. ~ Cicero
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Once you are able to lift the weight of doubt, you will be able to go much faster. You won’t miss it and if you are doing anything of value, other people’s doubt will surely make up for the doubt you no longer have.
You have the capacity to do great things. The keyword is do!
You have to beg somewhere. If you spend too much time thinking about how far you have to go, you will regret the steps that you didn’t take.
If you want to actually improve your self-esteem, you need to understand what you are giving up by postponing your healing.
Step 3: Surround Yourself with Positivity
You see, these steps truly aren’t that difficult, complex, or work intensive.
Positivity is a key part to improve your self-esteem because you have to be intentional. When you emit positivity, you are likely to receive it back.
When confidence is built upon reinforcement, you should tilt the odds in your favor.
Social Media
Your surroundings also include the content that you consume. I’m looking at you Twitter.
Yeah, I’m talking about the stuff that you claim is for entertainment but really only perpetuates your internal self-loathing that you only watch to feel accepted.
Too specific? I’ll simmer down, I promise.
Essentially, this means limiting social media. If you’re feeling extreme cut it out altogether
The thing about social media is that there are virtually no limits to how, what, when, and where you consume content.
When is your brain allowed to have a break?
You are also at the will of each algorithm, which has the potential to expose you to just about anything.
Sometimes you have to protect yourself from seeing content that reinforces negative thoughts or beliefs about yourself.
Learning to engage with social media on your terms will help you improve your self-esteem.
Step 4: Surround yourself with uplifting people
Out of all of the steps, this one may require the most effort on your part.
Surrounding yourself with uplifting people is almost a no-brainer when it comes to improving your self-esteem.
When you start to voice your negative thoughts, these people will be there to dispute your negative beliefs.
They can also help reinforce the positive things that you do and become more confident. Having a strong support system will help anybody succeed in life.
Use Them As Models
Uplifting people can be the examples that you use for how to treat yourself.
You can observe how they react in certain situations. For example, how do they respond when:
- They underperform
- They are under pressure
- When they are rejected
- When they are learning a difficult skill
By replicating the attitudes of people with higher self-esteem, you can improve your self-esteem bit by bit.
If you liked this post, you’ll love these:
- Starting from Zero | Best Ways to Set Yourself Up for Success
- How to Stop Overthinking and Take Back Control of Your Life
- How to show yourself love on Valentine’s Day
Where to Find Them
If you don’t have uplifting people around you, here are some places where you can find them:
- Mixers
- Seminars
- Recreational Sports
- Religious Gatherings
- Volunteer Events
The real test to find an uplifting person is to observe how they make you feel when first meeting them as well as how they treat other people.
As you build deeper relationships, you can better assess the quality of the people that you meet.
Finding positive and uplifting people will drastically improve your self-esteem.
Step 5: Celebrate Your Wins
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This is a step that people may try to skip.
Maybe they believe that they have not made enough progress or any progress at all.
I am here to inform you that this is not true.
Reading this article is a step in the right direction and should be celebrated. If you are really serious about learning how to improve your self-esteem, there is work that you need to do.
Acknowledging how far you’ve come will remind you of your resilience and your ability to problem-solve.
A part of being confident and increasing your self-esteem is learning to accept credit when it is rightfully earned. Do not discount your hard work!
Conclusion
These are my tips on how to improve your self-esteem. When it comes to something as internal as self-esteem, it may be difficult to know where to begin.
Some people are just born and raised with higher self-esteem and if you have never been exposed to that environment, you may think that you are doing something wrong.
By putting in the work to improve your self-esteem, you give yourself the opportunity to have a confident future with more opportunities.
The benefits of building your self-esteem far outweigh the challenges you will face to get there.
I hope that you will use these methods to improve your self-esteem.
Let’s Keep the Party Going!
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