Originally Published: February 9th, 2023
Updated: August 26th, 2023
This article is all about how to use delayed gratification.
One day I was mindlessly scrolling through YouTube looking for someone to watch….as one does when I stumbled upon a video titled “Delaying gratification will 10X your life quality” by Sebastian Ghiorghiu. In his video, he discussed the impacts of delaying gratification and the benefits that you could receive from doing it.
His argument was compelling and encouraged me to dig deeper into this topic, so here we are!
Delayed gratification is the complete opposite of everything that modern society has morphed into as a result of convenience.
I mean, this is the whole premise of Ariana Grande’s song title, 7 Rings. I want it, I got it sounds pretty darn good when you know what it feels like to be without.
What is delayed Gratification?
To put it as simply as possible, delayed gratification is the rejection of an immediate outcome or thing (this thing is usually good) with the expectation that something better will come.
The key part here is that there is an expectation that something better will come, but this is not guaranteed.
You are never guaranteed to feel fulfilled when you finish med school or to finally be confident in your own skin after you reach a certain number on a scale.
This does not make delayed gratification pointless, though as it can help you build discipline and become more involved in the journey.
An example of instant gratification that comes to mind is breakfast cereal (Fruit loops are what comes to mind. In the United States, this cereal is marketed to be a breakfast option. The primary consumers of Fruit Loops are children.
Now, this food is edible and has some sort of nutritional value, although the sugar content may be higher than the actual nutrition that it provides. The calories from eating this cereal are largely empty and cause you to be hungry again within a few hours of eating it. There is also nothing really fulfilling about eating Fruit Loops because of the lack of nutrition.
I equate instant gratification to breakfast cereal in the United States because of its unsustainable fulfillment. There is no amount of Fruit Loops that will leave you feeling satiated and you eventually will need to consume more in order to achieve the same effect of feeling full. Fruit Loops will take you from ravenous to sick in 2.5 bowls.
If you opt for breakfast like oatmeal or a protein shake, you may feel more full for longer and receive more nutritional benefits even though it may take a longer time to prepare than a bowl of cereal.
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How should you use delayed gratification?
Build discipline
Delayed gratification can be synonymous with discipline. It is certainly a common method that people use to practice discipline.
Discipline requires a sort of self-control that is found in ignoring bodily desires. For example, if you are on a mission to eat healthy foods and you begin to cut out foods that are not good for you, you may begin to experience cravings for the food.
You know eventually, that you will not miss the chocolate bar, but if you give in to your cravings, it will be more difficult to maintain your mission of eating healthy foods.
Maintain control over your desires (for the same reasons that parents are encouraged to not give children everything that they ask for when they want it)
We have all seen the stories of the rich children who lack a work ethic because everything that they have ever owned has been given to them or the bully who lacks respect for the boundaries of other people because they have never been challenged in an effective way.
For the same reasons that we recommend not giving a child everything they want when they want it, we can use delayed gratification in the same way. If we accommodate our desires whenever they arise, it becomes a much bigger deal when we don’t listen to them.
Accommodating our desires whenever they arise takes away the opportunity to cope when you are unable to accommodate your desires. By delaying gratification, you are able to set limitations for yourself on your own terms, so the change doesn’t have to be as dramatic.
Find more fulfillment in results
The amount of time that you spend to get results can definitely have an impact on the fulfillment that you feel from completing a task.
You feel a different level of fulfillment from feeling like you have earned something rather than when it is given to you. Working hard towards a goal gives you the added validation of those surrounding you who get the chance to watch you grow.
I think that the harder it is to achieve a goal or the more that is required to achieve a goal, correlates with the amount of fulfillment you have.
For example, you are likely to feel more proud of yourself for getting an A on a test in a difficult class than you would feel if you received the same grade on a homework assignment.
Longer-term projects allow you to gauge your progress during them, which allows you to gain a perspective of the whole experience.
![delayed-gratification](https://thrivingindependently.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/delayed-gratification-1024x741.jpg)
Develop a deeper appreciation
Not only will you feel more fulfilled when you delay your gratification, but you will also have a deeper appreciation of the work that is involved.
You may find yourself working for the sake of working. There may not always be a reward in mind or one that you can envision receiving short term. You have to find other means that motivate you to work, that aren’t reward-based.
When you dig deep in this way, you are able to discover the characteristics that are fundamental to you. The things that keep you going regardless of the work that is required or the potential rewards that they might bring.
Giving yourself the chance to live and make decisions without the expectation of an immediate reward can help you find a deeper appreciation for the things that you are passionate about and carry you through the most difficult and mundane of days.
You can use your imagination to supplement the hard work or lack of knowledge (You have more time to visualize the journey or what the end product may look like)
Get clear on what it is that you really want
Nothing gives you a better sense of confusion and clarity than things not going your way or when it seems like you are going nowhere.
I encourage you to consider the fact that when things keep “going right” for a person, they tend to follow that path (the path of least resistance). An example of this is that one student in your class who never studied and was good at math.
They may not even like math, but since math is easier for them to do than other subjects, they are likely to follow a path that would allow them to use their math skills and be successful.
Now, this may work for some people but it also takes away the opportunity for this person to really try anything else. Does it make logical sense to choose a career in literature when you are naturally talented at math and there are many opportunities for those who excel at math?
The point that I’m making is that when you have no obvious strength, you are forced to choose what to focus on. If you are trying to get to a certain place in life, with no obvious talent, you have to create a plan that you intend to follow to get there.
In order to do that, it requires some degree of clarity about what you want to do, or who you want to be.
Conclusion
There you have it folks! My thoughts on delayed gratification.
We could all benefit from being more disciplined and introducing structure into our lives. When you start to use delayed gratification, you give yourself more control over your own life.
Best of luck with delayed gratification!