Growing up, I have always had the desire to move out on my own and make my own decisions. However, this desire has never been so strong as it is now that I’ve reached my early twenties.
It felt as if I had been sitting on the sidelines waiting for my turn to enter the game. Going to university helped a bit; however, I craved the freedom that my parents seemed to have when I was growing up.
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Becoming independent is a natural desire and it magnifies as you see your peers progressing in their own lives. The issue is that there is no “tried and true” advice pertaining to becoming independent. As someone who has experienced the ‘joy’ of moving out of my family home after university, I have learned a few key lessons, which I am thrilled to share with you.
In this article, I encourage you to take the leap towards gaining independence in early twenties and explore what the world has to offer.
Understanding Independence
In order to delve deeper into this topic, we have to discuss what it means to be independent in your early twenties. Independence to me is not having all of the answers but the ability to find the answers and figure it out.
Independence requires you to rely on yourself and to trust that you can make your own decisions. This can be especially difficult once you leave an environment like school, where your learning is more structured and there are more external sources of motivation.
Your early twenties are the first opportunity that you’ll have to test the boundaries of the life that you grew up in. This is when you’ll be able to prove to yourself that you can exist as a functioning adult on your own accord
Social media has vastly distorted our perceptions of what a person in their early twenties life may look like. The life of someone who graduated college and found a job right away may look different from someone who didn’t go to college and has been working the whole time.
Your journey of gaining independence in early twenties will not match anyone else. Achieving some level of independence in early twenties will put you on a path to achieving more and evolving into the person that you want to be.
There are several areas in your life where you can assess your level of independence.
- Emotional
- Social
- Financial
- Motivational
- Intellectual
In the areas listed above, which type of independence are you the strongest in? Which type are you weakest in?
Gaining independence in your early twenties is a process that requires much patience and perseverance. Knowing that you have a lot to learn and giving yourself the grace to figure out what it is that you don’t know will make you successful in gaining independence in early twenties.
The Benefits of Independence and Self-Reliance
Gaining independence in early twenties comes with many benefits.
One noteworthy benefit that comes with gaining independence is the boost in self-esteem and confidence. Independence comes with many new experiences and problems that you will need to solve. Strengthening your capacity to problem solve and create your own way is a sure way to improve your self-esteem.
Your actions will override your thoughts about yourself and reflect how capable you really are. As you improve your self-esteem, it will be easier for you to try new things and accomplish more challenging tasks.
Another benefit that comes with gaining independence in early twenties is improved decision-making skills. Independence requires you to make your own decisions and trust your instincts. You will become more decisive and pragmatic in the decisions you make and others for their opinions less.
Challenges become less intimidating when you go through the process of gaining independence in early twenties. You will face more of them because the people you depended on before won’t be there to shield you; however, you can adjust to your new environment. Gaining independence does not mean that you stop asking for help, rather you anticipate the challenges that you may face and prepare accordingly.
Arguably, the greatest benefit of gaining independence is gaining autonomy. Growing up allows you to have agency over your actions, decisions, and the choices you make. There is a liberating aspect to gaining independence and it is very empowering. Knowing that the outcome of your life rests in your hands is a great motivator for you to make good choices and regulate where you spend your energy.
How can I get independence in my 20s?
The best way to get independence in your 20s is to make gradual changes. If your goal is to move out of your childhood home, then you may first work on becoming financially independent. You begin by finding a source of steady income. Once you have the income you can start paying for your own bills and begin budgeting.
Gaining independence is meant to be a gradual process. You don’t want to rip the bandage off and give yourself too many problems to solve at once. Find a speed that you are comfortable with and build from there.
Recognizing Barriers to Independence and Self-Reliance
The process of gaining independence does not come without challenges. Some challenges that you may face are the fear of the unknown or failure, difficulty combatting your over-reliance on others for validation, and limiting beliefs about yourself and your abilities.
These challenges can slow your journey to gaining independence in your early twenties. It is important to remember that no one has all of the answers and to give yourself grace for the things that you do not know yet. Relying on yourself can be scary, but you need to start somewhere to build rapport with yourself.
Gaining Independence In Early Twenties
The early 20s is a time when many people begin to build the foundation for their adult lives. This is the time when people begin getting their “big girl” or “big boy” jobs, they make decisions about where they want to live and the lives that they want to lead.
You will learn many things as you interact with the world each day and here are a few tips that can get you started on your journey to gain independence in your early twenties.
Nothing happens on accident
After moving out of my parent’s house, I gained a new respect for the little things that I took for granted. An example that I can think of is utilities. I never had to consider how electricity made it to my house growing up. When I moved out into an apartment, my roommate explained to me that she had to call a different company for each utility and set up an account for the specific apartment.
This blew my mind. I didn’t think that it was a coincidence that every apartment had utilities; however, I did not expect that it was the tenant’s responsibility to have utilities brought to the apartment. I presume that my parents had to do the same for our childhood home. It is a small gesture, but it did give me a better appreciation for what my parents did to make my siblings and I more comfortable.
Develop an appreciation for your abilities
Everyone grew up differently and had various levels of hardship in their upbringing. Depending on your situation, you would have a different appreciation for your abilities.
I grew up in a more sheltered environment; therefore, there was no need for me to test my survival skills in “the wild”. It was only when I moved out that I had to learn the etiquette to use when roaming the streets. It was all new to me and I had to adjust quickly to what others were doing.
When you put yourself in a new environment, you can surprise yourself in how you adapt to new surroundings. Humans are surprisingly adaptable and there is no better period to learn this in your life than a time when you are gaining independence in your early twenties.
Don’t compare yourself to others
This tip is always more easily said than done; however, it is worth repeating. There will always be someone who is better, smarter, more attractive, has more friends, etc. than you. When you truly understand this, you will be liberated from the high standards that you put on yourself.
People generally tell others and broadcast the best that is happening in their lives. It is very rare that you hear the full story behind the photos and videos that you find online. Even amongst your peers, you do not know the things that they have endured to get to where they are.
Gaining independence in your early twenties is all about self-discovery and your journey to becoming independent. Do not compare your journey to what it looks like other people have achieved.
Ask for help
One misconception that people have when trying to become independent is that asking for help is not allowed. This is false and thinking this way will create many unnecessary problems. It is important to have a strong unit of people who care about you and support you. Independence is about doing the work yourself rather than relying on others to do it for you.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help and use the resources that are available to you. This will ensure that you can face any challenges and still come out successful.
Final Thoughts
Gaining independence in early twenties is a key part of growing into an adult. The benefits such as increased self-esteem and autonomy or only a small part of why gaining independence is so important.
Share this article with the people you know in their early twenties. Adulthood doesn’t need to be scary and there are too many benefits to gaining independence for people not to take advantage of it.
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