This article is all about the insecure overachiever.
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It is one thing to be an overachiever, but being an overachiever based on insecurity is on a different level. We are told as kids that we should aim high with our goals and do our best.
Our successes are rewarded in various ways, but this can impact our feelings of self-worth when we do not meet the expectations of others.
Being an insecure overachiever can take a toll on your mental and physical health and can have you overextending yourself. Finding the balance between achievement and confidence in your self-worth can be a challenging task.
This article will show why evaluating your motivation for success and your identity as an overachiever is essential. It is great to work hard and get results, but it is better to work hard and find success in a healthy and non-self-destructive way.
This article is all about the insecure overachiever.
Cons of Being an Insecure Overachiever
Questions to Ask Yourself
These questions are important to ask, to evaluate yourself as an overachiever. You may find that this characteristic was put onto you or something that never gave you fulfillment in the first place.
If you find that your capacity to overachieve is fueled by insecurity, then you would benefit from self-reflection. I would focus on who you are or who you want to be in the absence of any future achievement. I would also seek a balance that works for you.
There is something to be said about working hard when you are young to reap the fruits of your labor when you grow old. However, you do not want to shorten your life by overdoing it.
- Who am I doing it for?
- What happens if I can’t keep this up?
- Is this sustainable for me?
- Does the reward justify the sacrifice?
Limitations
If a core part of your identity is being an overachiever, you inherently place your value in your ability to produce results. This mindset can manifest when you are young, but that sets you up for a life full of hard work that may not always be necessary.
Hard work alone will produce results, but the impact that it has is limited to the singular person who contributes. Time is a huge factor that limits the number of things that you can do in a day.
In order for you to accomplish things as an overachiever, you likely sacrifice other things to make room for your project and optimize your time. The things that are commonly sacrificed are self-care, relationships, extracurricular activities, etc.
These things can make living worthwhile. You don’t want to achieve success and find that you did it at the expense of everything else in your life.
Some people may counter that once success is achieved, then they will spend their time on the other things that are important to them when they have time. My counter would be, if the success is never achieved or the person has not reached the level that they desire, or they continue to raise the bar, when will you have time for anything else?
Furthermore, if you have spent years developing habits of prioritizing work, what confidence could you have in saying that you will be able to stop once you meet your goal? What would stop you from changing the goal or moving to the finish line?
Being an insecure overachiever is difficult in part because there is always more that could be done. Success is never enough, you could always optimize for better.
There need to be strict boundaries set and respected in order for you to diversify where you find fulfillment in your life.
Another post that you will enjoy: https://thrivingindependently.com/stop-comparing-yourself/
Insecurity
Merriam-Webster defines insecurity as “a state or feeling of anxiety, fear, or self-doubt“.
Insecurity is remedied by years of work, accumulation of evidence, and pouring into oneself. The reason that an insecure overachiever is more at risk is because of the social aspect of achievement.
How do we know that we have succeeded? Usually, an outside source has told us so.
In the beginning, we had no gauge of our performance other than the way that our actions make us feel. As we come in contact with more people, we are influenced by their standards, beliefs, and words. These things can impact the way that we value ourselves and other people.
An insecure overachiever can feel the weight of other people’s judgments more because they have set the standards so high. Other people are praised for doing less because they set smaller expectations, therefore they are praised more frequently for their success.
The higher you set the bar, the greater the risk of not reaching it, therefore, your capacity to fail skyrockets.
As you can imagine, this results in a lot of anxiety.
Don’t Make Time For Yourself
I believe that humans have many needs that need to be met to feel fulfillment. Success and social validation may play a part, but if the other categories are not being met, you can still feel empty.
Work-life balance is extremely important because it gives your brain a chance to reset. An insecure overachiever may forgo these opportunities to recharge socially, physically, and mentally to put them closer to their tangible goals.
This may work in the short term, but these deficiencies do catch up with you. You would like to have the option to take a break versus your body shutting down and making a break mandatory, wouldn’t you?
Also, hyper concentration on a few things repeatedly will put you on the fast track to burnout. Ask me how I know.
You use your time away to rejuvenate and bring new ideas and methods to your work. If your work becomes methodical and no longer mentally stimulating, it is easy to become uninspired.
It’s Okay to Depend on Others, You Are Still a Part of a Team
Another issue that insecure overachievers face is the struggle to work in a team. If you repeatedly find yourself doing all of the work in a group project, you could probably stand to improve your delegating skills.
It is rare that you see someone carry a whole operation by themselves for a sustained period of time. If you do find someone like that, they probably are not doing that great of a job.
Why you ask? It is because it is not productive for one person to be an expert in everything.
If that person could find two people who could operate at 80% of their own level, the whole business could improve tenfold.
There is power in numbers and developing a good support system takes time. The time that you spend training people to do their job effectively will make up for the time you waste trying to fix the problems that you created by trying to do everything yourself.
Another post that you will enjoy: https://thrivingindependently.com/setting_work_goals/
Resentment
Feeling resentment towards others as an insecure overachiever is a huge thing to consider. I have two good examples.
- You may feel that your boss is failing to recognize your work
As a fellow human, I do enjoy getting recognized from time to time. My personal favorite method of recognition is through money. Anyways, as an insecure overachiever, you may find it difficult to get your work noticed by others, i.e. coworkers, family, and supervisors.
Since you have developed a reputation to perform at this level, it is expected that you continue to perform at the same level. Generally speaking, as an overachiever at work, the reward for your hard work is typically more work. Which may not have been your goal.
The lack of external recognition can discourage you and your effort. If your work ethic is fueled by outside recognition, it will fall short when you do not receive it in the way that you desire.
It is still important to maintain gratitude as you work and find joy and fulfillment independently of recognition.
2. You may feel that your team isn’t contributing in the same way.
Another issue that an insecure overachiever may face is disappointment in their team. Nodding back to the experience of an insecure overachiever being on a team, you may that everyone else is behind you. You don’t want your work to suffer at the expense of people who are not willing to work as hard.
Other people may be fine with the results that they get as a product of the effort that they put out. It is illogical for you to expect other people in your team to work at your same level. You would do better to listen and learn where they are and find what they could contribute best to the project.
The reality is that you have no control over how other people choose to work. You can only do the best that you can. Learning to collaborate and listen will greatly improve your experience in working with a team.
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